Essays--Facebook Sucks: Part II

Forbes’ “Thought Of The Day” today is: “A friend is, as it were, a second self,” a quote from Cicero, a man who knew well the breath of what it means to be a friend or an enemy and who understood acutely what it is to be loyal and accountable.

“It’s not like that,” my friend said about a FB “friend” that he doesn’t even like.

“I’m sorry. I don’t understand. I see you two bantering—LOL, LMAO, LMFAS, har har har. Like, all the time. Every post almost. You appear to like him just fine despite all the wrong you say he’s done or the hurt he has certainly caused those close to you.”

He had nothing except, “Yeah well, he’s done nothing to me directly.”

And there in, apparently, lies the most commonly accepted definition of a Facebook Friend. Anyone for whom you’ve pressed that little red Accept button to let into your private realm. Which isn’t really all that private given how many people post everything under the sun publicly, rather scrolling through the settings to be more selective in how they disperse their personal status updates.

So, what is this, this phenomena? Where we enable people who are in no way friends to be part of our lives, where we show acceptance and approval for those who break laws, are horribly cruel, or who just generally mistreat others. Were we trust our personal shit –including intimate pictures of our kids--with those we don’t even know or trust or like?

In real life, this isn’t the case, is it? If we don’t like someone, eventually, we tell them and/or begin to avoid them. We set boundaries with those who have lost our trust. We—most of us-- don’t socialize with those we do not like and those we do not trust. Right? We get to that point where we give ourselves permission to be more selective and to protect ourselves and those we care about.

On Facebook, boundaries of any kind seem to be lacking. Should be shocking that’s this is the case given its one of the foremost utilized forms of social media. Not just by us but by the youth of the world. Shocking. But, typically, it’s not. Most just shrug it off as insignificant, irrelevant.

Upon his execution Cicero said, "There is nothing proper about what you are doing, soldier, but do try to kill me properly."  I understand the sentiment.

“Media—a medium for cultivation, conveyance, or expression.” A method of communicating, of COMMUNING.

Towards that end, I note that Facebook, (who generates the most revenues per user than any other social media company), has added an “Acquaintance” option when accepting a friendship request, and we now can choose to “Subscribe” or “Follow” rather than to “Friend” those we aren’t particularly friendly towards.

Yeah, that should help.